“The Twitter app is now part of the native carousel in firmware 3.2.2….”

twitter-carousel

“…so you can activate it via the voice control options by selecting the toolbar and paging right to the shortcut menu until the bezel expands to indicate you’ve highlighted the option. You’ll soon get the hang of it. You’ll need to input the Wi-Fi password from the back of the router again though. It’s the one that starts WF38j and remember it needs upper and lower case letters inputting correctly else you’ll be stuck with only the live TV channels for the afternoon until I get back from pilates with Jean. Don’t answer the phone if it rings. Bye.”

12 Comments
September 23, 2014 in Promotional photography

BATTERIES: SUNRISE Extra Heavy Duty

sunrise-battery

The rising nuclear cloud design echoes the sight everyone within a 70-mile radius will see should you insert them improperly. Lovely dot-of-the-i sun spot detailing, too. Only discovered due to dropping the light on the floor and breaking the case. They’ve been sitting there, inside a tool box, unused, for around seven years, still work and show zero signs of corrosion. Highly recommended, 8.5/10.

11 Comments
September 19, 2014 in Batteries

Guess the Function of the Thing

digital-light-shades

Simply connect the Digital Light Shade to the notifications centre of the LG Home mobile application* and you can remotely switch your home lighting ON or OFF** depending on the minute-by-minute ambient light needs of any room.

* Wi-Fi or 3G/4G mobile data connection required.
** Feature only available with compatible LG SuperFilament III bulbs***.
*** Sold separately.

15 Comments
September 15, 2014 in Promotional photography

Sexist HTC makes woman hold heaviest thing

#sexism #women #issues #sensitivity #trousers #2014

woman-holds-heaviest-thing

Hang on, though, is it actually empowering to show they can handle larger objects with ease and are, in fact, equally as capable as men at lifting and holding but just a bit smaller? It’s all so complicated. It was better when the wearing of trousers by female mobile display hoardings was frowned upon, too.

7 Comments
September 11, 2014 in Promotional photography

“My colleague there will be happy to tell you how it operates…”

samsung-air-con

SANDY: “My colleague THERE will be happy to tell you how it operates.”

JESSICA: “No, ASK HER how it operates.”

SANDY: “My colleague, as I said, will tell you how it operates.”

JESSICA: “Please speak to the other lady in white if you would like to know more.”

SANDY: “I’m only trained in hand gestures, my colleague there knows about the pipes and things.”

JESSICA: “There’s a brochure somewhere.”

SANDY: “It’s also all on the interactive micro-site.”

19 Comments
March 19, 2014 in Promotional photography

“The secret to lifting is to bend your knees…”

knee-lift

“BOTH KNEES.”

12 Comments
March 18, 2014 in Promotional photography

“NEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWW!”

neow

“I’m a Boeing 787 Dreamliner, Sarah, which one are you? You be the new Airbus, the A380. Not that I’m saying you’re fat or anything. Neeoooowww!”

An extract from Turbulence Ahead, an erotic novel set in the international product demonstration world.

21 Comments
January 6, 2014 in Promotional photography

“EXCUSE ME…”

excuse-me

“YOUR HAIR IS BLOCKING MY VIEW.”

6 Comments
December 19, 2013 in Promotional photography

“Well, if it can be controlled by an app it’s clearly my responsibility…”

washing-machine-app

“So give me that. Now what’s a fast coloured? These pants are a cotton/elastane mix, so is that cottons or synthetics? What firmware number does it say on that panel? You can do your things in the sink, this is mine now.”

6 Comments
October 31, 2013 in Promotional photography

“Feel free to help yourselves to any refreshments…”

pomegranite

“…but don’t touch the pomegranate flavour juice. He won’t like it. He really won’t like it. Look, see this scar? That was because I made the mistake of thinking the pomegranate one was strawberry and drank it. If in doubt, just have tap water, he likes that. But not too much as we’re on a water meter and he checks consumption when he gets home. One litre an hour is all he allows. That includes toilet flushes, so only flush solids. Sorry it’s a lot to learn, but I’m sure you’ll soon feel at home.”

9 Comments
October 29, 2013 in Promotional photography